WHOO-HOOOO!!!! I just got my second (in my life) Law essay back: "72. This is very good. You write clearly and intelligently, covering all the relevant questions, and without any irrelevant material. This is impressive. Well done!"
HOOT! HOOT! *dances around the fire* *waves tomahawk* WHOOP-WHOOP!!!!
Two things. I declare that: 1) I love Charlie Webb; 2) I love myself. Yay!!!!!!!!
*sigh* I thought I did incredibly dismally in this essay. I actually thought my first essay (a problem question was much better cos I had more points to tackle directly from the question itself). This essay was just too huge (the scope was too broad). PLUS I started on it at 10pm the night before the renegotiated deadline (okay... so Miss Irresponsible here waltzed into class on the deadline day and asked (declared to) her teacher: 'Can I hand it in next week instead?' Not like he had a choice.) Ah... my all-nighter was worth it. Every second of it. Worth the subsequent weeks of mild headache, feelings of slight unwellness, and screwed up circadian cycle. Hmmm... now that I think about it... I wish I had got a higher mark. A three mark improvement is quite crap actually. Must get a clear 'A' next time (*sigh* the pressure).
And this is why I find it so difficult to be organised and study way ahead of time. I mean... if I can pull a last minute job and get away with it (ie. do quite well relative to the amount of effort put in), where is the incentive to work earlier? For some reason, I can never seem to work unless I have a pressing deadline staring straight into my face, and the burden is oppressing me, pushing all air out of my lungs until I gasp for relief.
But the fact is... I can't and shouldn't actually do that anymore. Especially not in my final year. And as a responsible, sensible, down-to-earth, 7-month old adult adult (FUAHAHAHA).
I started my Industrial assignmenr at midnight last night too, after intending to work on it since the weekend. It actually went alright. My math working for part ii) and iii) of question 3 was off, cos my brain was just sizzled. But the rest of it was okay. Although I had to really bust my ass over question 1. I had to solve the equations at least 4 times, since I got different answers the first three times I did it. You know why? Because I'm a very careless girl: The equation : (a + 2dp)/2b = 0. When I recopy it in the next line, substituting the 'p', I copy it down as: (a + 2bp)/2 = 0. *death stare at self* *sigh*. Note to self: MUST BE MORE CAREFUl!!!!!
I feel positively exuberant today. Every time I pull an all-nighter for work, I tend to be full of irrepressible vitality the next day. I jump and hop. Greet everyone with loudly and cheerily. Practically pounce on every acquaintance and bend their ear with my non-stop prattling (much like what I'm doing). I think it must be all the adrenaline (of doing work? finally?). And the caffeine helps too.
For the first time in my LSE life, I actually asked a question in class today! More than one! And I made comments. I had ideas that I was thinking about, extensions that I was analysing, avenues that I'm curious to explore. Oh how joyful and wonderful is the process of learning. How filled with beauty, and light. What a noble calling it is. *dramatic light bursts out from behind cumulus-nimbus clouds and shines upon me through exquisite stained-glass window* *inspiring music swells in the background* ... ... ... *a dove flies by* - Aye, all is well with the world today. *lol*
Oh I really hope I feel inspired beyond this day. And will continue to work like the veritable angel of diligence that I am. *beatific smile* *halo-like backlight on my head*
But really, honestly, whenever I do work seriously, I really enjoy it. It's just that I seem to have a severe case of attention deficit disorder. Place me in front of my darling laptop, and I start dashing off into every possible corner of cyberspace. Switch the laptop off, and suddenly I'm compelled to do anything: clear up my room, clean the toilet (!!), buy groceries... anything but study, NOW.
But anyway, I really ought to reward myself this weekend. I have a right to slack because: 1) I have done my work; 2) I'm tired (lack of sleep from doing said work), 3) single on Valentine's Day (which is not a bad thing in itself except for the following:) *in a sea of sick-cat-smug couples*. Bleargh. Yes I shall sit and wallow and feel sorry for myself: sleep, Gilmore Girls, download other tv shows + movies, lie in bed, hang out in the bowl. Yippeeee!!!!! :D
I've actually written two entries over yesterday, but I decided to chuck both onto a my skeleton-in-a-closet site. Cos I felt the first one was quite pointless and too crafted, and the second was silly and overly whiney. - I've been whining way too much for my own taste over the past 2 weeks.
Okay... now it's time to be ditzy!
Today my usual finance class teacher Dr Amil Dasgupta (who will start lecturing me from next week onwards) was substituted by my current finance lecturer Dr Andrew Patton. And basically, I spent the entire class just gazing at him in an entirely love-struck manner.
He has strawberry-blond/light brown long hair, tied back in a low pony-tail. As if that wasn't sexy enough (along with his beard thing), he has a good figure... with a wider upper body and he wore the most amazing jeans. I mean... most lecturers just don't know how to dress. A few of them have bubble butts. but this guy... not at all. or at least he chooses the correct jeans. PLUS he's brainy. He does financial econometrics! How much sexier can one get? *And* he's tall. after class, I walked quite closely behind him and tried to estimate his height. 1.8?? I almost swooned from even *breathing* in his presence. *fans self vigorously* I felt SO guilty that I didn't do his classwork, esp since he said he was pissed at those of us who didn't do it. Shite. If only he taught me all year round, I'd be a MODEL student, honestly! here's his pic, and tell me he isn't one sexy lecturer! (and hah! i *knew* he was aussie)
And if my run-in with Andrew Patton wasn't enough, *right* after my finance lecture was my industrial class. Asides from the fact that I was awake throughout the lecture and found it positively *exciting*, after my lecture... G*, my sexy ex-fellow intern came over and talked to me. Whoop whoop!!! I almost fell through the floor and died on the spot! He's like, the perfect guy (who barely knows I exist). There was one lecture in which he spent the whole of it staring at a girl (who was quite pretty i guess), and I spent my whole lecture staring at him staring at the chick. Bleargh. That sucked. He's even so sweet and protective about his baby sister. The only bad thing about him (aside from the fact that he doesn't know i exist), is that he smokes. And i'm quite anal about that.
Oh... and one slight piece of positive news as well. Last week, D*, another guy I think is sexy, saw me looking alright for the first time! I'm okay most of the time, but previously, everytime I see D*, I'll be in specs, with huge eyebags and looking generally rank. But this ONE time, I looked halfway decent, and not something the cat dragged in. Not that D* knows I exist either. Ah well. At least G* and I talk.
So... okay. Now I'm done with my ditz-fest. Once in a while, I need to get the whole thing outta my system, ya know? After all, the London guys are generally unbelievably dismal most of the time.
foul mood
It's been a rather crappy start to the week. I must've woken up on the wrong side of the bed monday. I have a constant headache; my feet have still been aching from wearing heels for >12 hours straight on two separate occasions a fortnight apart; I feel unwell; I'm clumsy: dropped my contact lenses, can't find the stuff I'm looking for; things just don't work when I want them to: a girl whining about her laptop in the queue in front of me, and the printer cocking up on me when I'm already ,late for the lecture of my most-favoured subject. Each, insignificant in their own right, but aggregated, and coupled with a general feeling of malaise, makes me feel like I'm dying of the proverbial brain aneurysm.
The tiniest thing that goes out of whack sets the blood pounding in my brain. And I know it is utterly irrational, my rage at almost-nothingness.
I have to remind myself to breathe.
When I came back from uni, I set myself to search and managed to find my contact lenses. So the week is hopefully looking up.
Maybe I am PMS-ing. I can find no other reason for my crankiness. But then, this cranky mood sets in every once in a while, and it doesn't seem to care whether its on-schedule for the appropriate time of the month, oh no. For it, 'P' stands for 'pre', 'present' and 'post'.
Aye, I understand myself well at least. I know to stay away from people when this mood besets me.
paintings in my mind
One bright spot in my day: I got the ATC photos from Paul Ives!
Two summers past, in 2002, I volunteered for three weeks on the Mid-Atlantic crew for the ATC (Appalachian Trail Conference). A few days ago, Paul emailed me to ask if the address he has for me is still good. He had some photos he wanted to send me. And now they're here.
It's really weird... how my summer from a year and half ago has suddenly come back to bite me in the ass. - But in a good way. Looking at the photos, I feel a sense of peace at that image of me frozen in time. yesterday becomes real for me once more. And that tomorrow I seek (the tomorrow of the photos. Not the tomorrow of my immediate reality) seems more tangible.
Here are two of the photos:
This is the crew on my third and last week: Gio, Jason, me, Tom, Mark, and Dave.
And this is me wielding a sledgehammer
I wonder where they are now. Did they go back the following year? Will I ever see them again? And where is Jason? Is he still on his road trip? Will he ever come across the pond?
keep rolling under the stars
I've been obsessing about a road trip across the expanse of the States, in the style of keruoac's 'on the road', one of my personal bibles.
I'd like to drive (not me exactly, since I don't have a license) across the mid-west states, across the rolling plains and desert. I'd like to visit the Grand Canyons. A straight line across from approximately Virginia all the way to California the sunshine state. And hell, it'll be a change to swing by Las Vegas. Sin city.
And I'm racking my brain on how to achieve this. I don't know exactly when I can make it. Since even if I blow all my annual holiday leave (and clearly I have to keep some leave for buffer), I'll only have three weeks tops, if my firm lets me off for all three weeks in a row, instead of breaking it into two weeks and one week. And can we drive across the states and back?
Then there is the matter of who I can roadtrip with. Where will Jason be then? And I haven't heard from him in pushing 8 months. So he's probably out. And KL... he says he might have sold his car by the time I can next get there. And siew wei has done it. - Can i wait much longer for my road trip?
My dream would be to hitch-hike with those interstate truckers. But being a female (this gender thing is really cramping my style), that's too dangerous. So I dream instead of flying through long lonely highways that cut through barren lands (my own imagination of the american hinterland) and maybe pass through small towns in the middle of nowhere to stock up.
I shall believe I will do it one day. Even though I keep getting that panicky feeling that time is running out for me, never mind that I'm only 21 (not 22, hurrah!! I forgot that my birthday isn't until July. I just calculated 2004-1982=22. Now I feel like I've gotten a year younger. hurrah!!). After all, it is generally the young people who go on road trips. And as i grow older, it'll be more difficult to find mates to go a-trippin' with.
I remember reading 'On the Road', and how much I felt like jumping up and leaving school behind, back during my A-levels. It spoke to me, and told me truths about myself. It fired up my lust for life and roaming like no other single book had. Here are the words that coursed through my veins like liquid light.
Did the hula today. Then went for a jog. - Only one round around the Basin (15 minutes). My throat and lungs were on fire a mere two minutes after I started my jog. And on my way back, my heart was aching (like, literally!!) too. ARP. I wonder if my cholesterol level is too high, or I've been eating too much, been too sedentary. But maybe my throat and lungs hurt because the wind was strong, and I was only wearing a t-shirt and a thin sweater + bottoms to jog. I think I shall attempt some exercise again tomorrow.
I've actually managed to let the weekend get by me without doing a single jot of productive work. Bravo, girl!!
Anyway... if I manage to finish my development assignment without sleeping too late tonight, this shall be my schedule tomorrow:
- development class
- hula + jog at elevenish
- lunch
- read industrial notes for this term. maybe start on tirole.
rest of day: clear up more of my room, maybe do some laundry, maybe some filing, gilmore girls!!!
I think I shall do this regularly: as in... write down my plans for the next day. I know it's naff to use the blog as a mere activity log or schedule. But I really need to do work. And writing it down in black and white will inspire me. I'm pre-committing myself to a course of action. I think it'll be particularly helpful since I'm online 24/7. maybe I should put my notes (when I study) up here too... O_O I am officially going berserk. But: I HAVE to do well this year. *mumbles* *grumbles*
Hmmm... alternatively, I shall use my livejournal as my study blog. After all, it's still just sitting there right now...
Okay... time to start work: at 22:35pm on a Sunday night for a 09:00am monday class. Smart girl! The paper: "Credit markets in Northern Nigeria: Credit as insurance in a rural economy"
William Hung is a star. He has the spirit. I really admire his courage in pursuing his dream.
Didn't end up jogging/walking to Trafalgar after all. But we did visit the National Museum for a brief tour.
And then we watched a really bizarre and disturbing film - "The Dreamers" by Bernardo Bertolucci.
re: theo: i didn't know it took so long
re: matthew: reality fell short of expectations
re: isabelle: ouch. i didn't know... *shudder*
day-dreaming
Have been thinking of changing the layout of my room for a few days. But it always seemed like so much work. Too much for a weekday project at least.
Tonight I finally started rearranging it. The main pieces are in place, although the details have yet to be sorted. In the process of shifting things around, I am unearthing things unused and long forgotten. I discover I have many random scraps of receipts and flyers that keep getting in my way as I try to move the furniture around within the tiny space that is my room. This is a good opportunity to throw things out. - A rare bit of spring cleaning.
My table now sits in front of my window. Instead of facing the stark wall (perhaps better to concentrate), I now face the outer world beyond my window as I type on my laptop. The window makes for good day-dreaming, as my mind wanders out of the window into la-la land.
I hope my new room layout works. I have the attention span of a gnat. I hope I don't tire of my 'new' room before the exams, else I'll have to heave and puff and take everything apart again.
girls just wanna have fun
Tonight I met up with the girls. As always, I had great fun. I like the whole girl thing. And I miss them. They're staying on in London one more year (hoot!hoot!). I ask them to move into my current house (assuming my other housemates want to keep it too). But we also apply for halls together. Just in case. And it'll be fun to live together again. And I like halls cos it means I don't have to clean the kitchen and toilets. The domestic bits are what I hate most about living out.
We conclude over dinner (my second full meal in three hours), that we should meet up more often. And we decide to be cultured tomorrow (haha)... we will visit the National Gallery. The plan is for me to meet Mai tomorrow at GDS, then we'll walk (or jog!!) all the way to school where we'll hook up with Xinmin and walk down to Trafalgar Square. Since I have no idea how to take public transport to GDS from my place, I reckon I'll have to walk over the bridge to her place, which will take a good 40 minutes. Mai suggested I jog there. At this moment in time, I'm feeling a bit dubious about the entire plan. My feet are aching, I lack sleep... am I serious about walking there?
These are the kind of things I miss about the girls. I miss people who are relaxed and up for fun. I miss the silly random things we sometimes do. Today we did the humanclock thingey, pasting masking tape on Xinmin's file to show the time. We also did a mirror project thingey. Haha.
Ssshhhh...
also... today i almost descended into the ignominy of stalkerhood. *sigh* hmm.. to think i once accused someone of being obsessive-compulsive. note to self: stop obsessing!
a morning...
Having slept at 3-ish last night/morning, I was understandably disgruntled when I woke up at nine this morning, without the aid of an alarm clock, when my earliest class was at 4pm. The last vestiges of a fading dream were still wafting in my head, the voice of one of my housemates talking about serious matters on his mobile on the steps outside my room drifted in, and in my sleep-drugged state, I thought I heard my two other housemates calling out: 'Hey do you want to eat?' I stagger out of bed and amble into the room next door: 'Hey did you guys say something?' My housemate turned around from watching a chinese period drama on her laptop, with a quizzical look on her face: 'What? No?' I shake my head in confusion, stumble back to my room and crash back onto my bed for another two hours.
My alarm wakes me at 11.
I reach for the 'power on' button on my laptop, much the way a chain-smoker reaches for a cigarette and a lighter in the dark when he/she wakes up in the middle of the night to go to the loo. It is a reflex action.
As per my habit, i languidly drop by the blogs of my two old friends (you know who you are). And I find out that today is 'chap goh meh', the fifteenth (and last) day of chinese new year. EGAD!! I am jolted from my stupor. I have been meaning to visit the temple during chinese new year. My original plan was to visit it on the first day of the new year. But being the perennial bum that I am, I've been delaying my trip down.
a visit to the temple...
It is a dribbly sort of day. I am glad to reach the temple, away from the wind and the fine, sporadic rain drops. I visit the three rooms of the temple. As usual, I feel awkward. I don't know exactly what to do. Do I stand or kneel? (I choose to kneel in the biggest room with the three buddhas, and stand for the one with guan yin the goddess of mercy, and the last one) I do the joss-stick thingey and pray as I do in my own fashion. I am unsure whether to address my prayers to buddha/god. I speak in English, although I try to throw in a few chinese phrases (just in case) to show I am making the effort.
It's been a long time since I have spent chinese new year with my extended family. Every year, without fail, my mom would tell me what to do whenever I reached the temple we visit yearly: 'take the joss-stick, pray at that shrine first, pray to gong-gong, then that one, stick the joss-stick there...' I never remember what I am actually supposed to do in a temple, especially on chinese new year. after all, i visit the temple just once every year (until I came to London that is. in London, esp recently, I visit the temple a few times a year).
I try my best this time, from what I can remember. I ask for the gods (god?) to take care of my gong-gong, and my other grandfather (my mom's dad. just in case they didn't know), and ah-na, my maternal grandmother who passed away just last year when I was in London. I can't remember what else to do on chinese new year that is supposed to be different from a regular visit to the temple. I think hard... and decide to wish the gods (god?) happy chinese new year.
Only after I leave the temple, as I am walk in the drizzle, do I remember what we're supposed to do on chinese new year: we are supposed to pray to our ancestors and ask for their favour and protection. It is a day to honour our ancestors. We're *not* supposed to (at least I've never done so) ask the gods (god?) to protect out ancestors. ARP. I've gotten it all wrong. But anyway, the tablet of my grandfather isn't at this temple... so presumably I wouldn't have been able to talk to him anyway?? And this was the first time I prayed for my maternal grandparents anyway. I'm sure my mom would be happy. Besides... this will be the last year in a while that I'm going to be so chinese I think. Because I'm finding that I'm doing a lot of these things, not because I believe in them (in fact, they've become almost surreal to me)... but because it's something I've always done since I was a kid. I do it for my past. For the memories of what used to be. I do it because I called my mom on chinese new year's day. And she said she is glad that I am following our customs. So I do it to make her happy. Because after being away from my mom for 13 out of my 21 years (and that is not including the year or so I spent with my aunt and uncle when I was about 3 years old), this is the only way I can hold the memories of her near to my heart.
It seems funny... that all those years from 12-18 when I studied in Singapore, I called my parents maybe once a year? I never felt homesick. But now that I am much older, I call my parents more often. And although I am not homesick (I am only friend-sick), I feel sadder, because I feel that time is running out for me and my parents. And I felt like shit for being such a terrible daughter. For leaving so young, and being so resolute in pursuing my dreams, and in my determination to stay away from Asia for the near-future.
But I am a sentimental fool. I tend to wax nostalgic and cling on to beautiful, fading memories. That is why I treasure old friends. The older the better. And I keep looking back over my shoulder. But I think that this holding on is not doing me any good. I need to look forward in more ways than one. The future is ahead. And as long as I keep nian4-ing (thinking of) my past, I will not be able to march forth into the future. Which is not to say that I'm going to stop being chinese, or being who I am. It's just that... I have to recognise the fact that... while I like being chinese, am very proud of it, am very much defined by it, and want to promote the interests of chinese (ie. reduce discrimination against/ misconceptions about chinese)... in many ways, I am actually alienated from the original fount of chinese-ness. But perhaps the problem I have is that I think that there is a standard model of chinese-ness. The kind that most people back home have. But maybe there is no such thing as a 'typical chinese'. Maybe my own mixed-up feelings are of my own invention. After all, there are many 'bananas' out there too, like me. Those are okay. Although I do think it is nice for chinese to know their language.
my housemates' concern: do they have a point?
Hmmm... the pre-conceived notions I have about chinese... brings me to another set of pre-conceived notions that I have about Asian men in general, and Singaporean and Malaysian men in particular.
I live in a house with two couples (yes it is two couples and myself. just the 5 of us). And I think my housemates are getting worried about my state of singlehood. Because on two separate occasions within the last fortnight, both my girl housemates have taken me aside and spoken to me about accepting love when it comes along.
Hmmm... *drily* I am 21. - I can now actually imagine how a girl in her late twenties must feel when her parents and relatives start bearing down upon her to find a boy and settle down.
It is really sweet of them though, to care, and be concerned about my welfare. But am I really in such dire need of 'saving'?? As in.. do I *seem* to be in such dire straits? Or worse... could it be true?!
Both of them told me (separately): If a nice boy comes along, why don't you try it out? As in... just don't turn down a nice boy that comes along because you feel like you're too young to settle down, or because you still want to play around.
I said that well... I'm just too young. I don't feel ready to settle down. IF a really sweet nice boy comes along, I'll give it a think through. But I didn't think any would... and especially any non-asians. I have this idea that Asian men (esp Malaysians and Singaporeans) are incredibly earnest and serious. They're the really nice sweet steady dependable (and let's face it... slightly boring) kind. Who would want to marry their girlfriends. I mean... they're GREAT *husband* material! When I'm ready to marry, I'll hook up with one of them! But at 22... and I don't intend to marry until I'm 30 (at least. or maybe 29 the EARLIEST).. it seems kinda pointless to date a guy for 8 years before marrying.
The thing is... well... one of my housemates said that she thinks I'll be very very happy when I get attached. She can imagine me being OTT delirious when I'm in love. And yes, I know I'm that kind of a float-on-air-in-a-dream person when in love. An old friend once told me she was inspired to fall in love after seeing me in love: she said she had never seen me happier than I was when I was in love (and she had known me for 8 years then). And I'm pretty positive that there's a guy somewhere out there for me. - He's taking his own sweet time about looking me up to be sure. But I'm fairly certain I'd recognise him when he turns up. and maybe it's because I have an idea of what kind of person he would be, so anyone who doesn't fit that bill is automatically not on my radar. And i happen to think that Asian men don't really fit the bill. Although I'd be HAPPY to marry an asian man I guess. But this housemate of mine says that I'm misguided and I am mistakenly stereotyping Asian men and therefore I may be missing out on opportunities. She says her own bf doesn't fit into my portrait of the archetypal Asian male.
And I'm almost beginning to question myself: 'Is she right?' I'm not dead-set against asian men. As I said, I'm happy to marry one ten years from now. But now I'd like to date a different kind of a person. And ideally, I prefer This housemate of mine agrees that it's not stricly necessary for me to marry... but she thinks I need a partner in life... someone to share my life with... the ups and downs... to take care of each other. I reckon humans are essentially pairing creatures.
I assert: but if I meet someone and I enjoy his company, then we can be in love and be together as long as we're in love and our interests are congruent. And when the time comes for us to part, we'll go our separate ways and fall in love with someone else.
But, she counters: what if you become old one day, and you're wrinkly and your looks are gone. What then?
I felt disturbed. I replied that I'll cross that bridge when the time comes.
It's really quite funny... no one really believed me when I said that I don't want to marry/don't think I'll marry. But now... it seems that these two girls at least are getting concerned. Haha... is it that a spinsterish air has descended upon me? Or is it just the assumption of people in love that not being ensconced in complacent coupledom is unnatural? After all, I remember trying to match-make my roomie with my then-bf's good friend! ^_^
But anyway, this girl said that I'm generalising asian men. and she says she knows of friends who fit my idealised description. And I was like: okay... get them to contact me then. or.. hell... I'll contact them. but she said: well... the problem is... these kind of guys don't want to be tied down. They don't want gfs. Hmmm.. which is my point precisely... exactly why I don't see a need to get attached either. Having a bf cramps one's style. So if these guys want to stay single, and I want to stay single.. isn't that ideal? If we meet somewhere along the road of life, good. or else, we'll travel along alone. no biggie. I'm reminded of a very sexist remark the beautiful boy once said, in response to the fact that I see myself as a lone ranger: "But you can't be a lone ranger. - You're a girl!" Pffffttt.
musings...
Hmmm... I've been very wiffly-waffly recently. Too mushy, sentimentalist, and positively whiney. I don't know why I keep taking meandering strolls down memory lane. And I keep questioning the whole family and chinese thingey. It's soppy. Bleah. Hey.. but it's CNY. And now soon to be valentine's day. Is it not justifiable to be a bit wet then?
note to self:
Less rambly philosophications please. (and yes, I know "philosophications" isn't a word.)
a picture from Paris
The background picture here was taken when I was in Paris in the early part of December 2003. It's a view from the Tuilleries. And aye, that is the Eiffel Tower at the bottom. Since February is the month of love, I figured a picture from the city of romance would be appropriate.
Oorf... but the background-attachment property works differently in opera than in ie. and i don't even know if it works with all versions of ie. och.
Who would you rather be?
a friend posed a question on her blog: "Who would you rather be? The one to walk away or to stay behind?"
I agree with her about staying behind. I had once vowed I would be stay behind, because I am stronger. I would rather take the pain than to have them labouring under its burden.
But now it may be a different case for me. The next time, maybe I will choose to walk away.
And after all, in the case of my parents, it is I who have walked away. Leaving behind my little corner of the world. And I salute and love my parents for that. It is so easy to coddle your only child and refuse to let her leave your side. But they let me leave the family home at 12. And I have never looked back since.
Well... perhaps that is not strictly true. As those who have followed my blog for a long time will know, sometimes I do look back with nostalgia, even longing. But the return path which was once opened, now seems narrower. Overgrown with weeds and bush. Which is not to say I won't find my way home. But merely that it will be a long time hence.
Rice Bowl Journals
I've been spending some time in 'the Bowl'. And I'm making it a point to surely, but slowly read some of the folks' journals. It's a friendly community, but there is just so much one can read. And it's always nice to savour something slowly, insteading of gorging on so much candy. Every day I start reading one more journal, and go back further into the archives. And "knowing how way leads onto way", I end up wandering into the further reaches of cyberspace. I came across a whole range of photo-blogs and their various projects: humanclock.com, the mirror project, the confluence project and many more.
I like this idea of a community that is less limited by race, nationality, space...(although the rice bowl journals is an asian phenomenon, but within the asian community, it breaks down other barriers like age, nationality, geography). I'm remembering Tom (from my ATC Mid-Atlantic crew days in 2002) who told me abt the 'hashing' and 'cache-ing'. And there's the critical mass movement. It seems like there are so many ways to reach out. :>
...
i am:
21. [f]. in london. a student.
from across the seas.
